When she came down the stairs not only was she super tall but was really beautiful, I mean I've known her from the day I was born so I always thought she was beautiful. But it was still kind of a culture shock to see this beautiful 18 year old girl standing infront of you when you can still remember both of you trick-or-treating as Aladdin and Tinkerbell at age four. I know this shouldn't get me as upset as it has but to be honest it just had me kind of afraid. Afraid that someone you've known your whole life can stand infront of you as a stranger.
I suppose it's just kinda a fear of abandonment and that before I know it everything will just slip through my fingers like sand, I know this won't be the case but a while back my best friend just completely cut me off! I gave up so much of my life just so we wouldn't fall apart and she threw it back in my face and I'll admit it kinda destroyed a little bit of me that I'll never get back. It's been over a year and she hasn't even made the effort to continue being friends. I'm not gonna say I regret moving to the same school as she did cause it was that or the chav school down the road and I met lots of amazing people who I love but it still hurts alot when I think of all we've been through and realize it means nothing to her. Also training to be an actor has made me realize that if I make the big time I'll never have a normal life and I'll have to give up soo much just for my carreer. I mean acting is one of the only things I'm truely passionate about and love doing it but there is a chance that it could break down more friendships as we grow apart.
I'm sorry that this is a really depressing post but it's how I feel right now and really had to vent it out. I hope you guys know that I really love you all and it would hurt to lose any of you but hopefully that'll never happen.
You Know You Love Me xoxo
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